Smile! it improves ur face value

Toothaches always start on Saturday night, right before the weekend when the Dental clinic will be closed.

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Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist: With pain Rs 800 and without pain Rs 500.
Patient: Well, without pain it’s cheaper. Pull it WITHOUT pain.
Without giving local anesthesia, the dentist begins to extract the tooth,
When the patient outcry: Aaaahhhhhhhh !!!!!
Hey, WITH pain it costs Rs800 !!!, replies the dentist.
Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
Dentist: Rs800
Patient: Rs800 for just a few minutes work?
Dentist: I can extract it very slowly, if you like.

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A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled. “Now, young man,” asked the dentist, “what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?” “Chocolate, please,” replied the youngster.

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A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill. “I’m shocked!” she complained. “This is three times what you normally charge.” “Yes, I know,” said the dentist. “But you yelled so loud, you scared away two other patients.”

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A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. “I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want local anesthesia because I’m in a big hurry,” the woman said. “Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way.” The dentist was quite impressed. “You’re certainly a courageous woman,” he said. “Which tooth is it?” The woman turned to her husband and said, “Show him your tooth, dear.”

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A man walks into a dentist’s clinic and asks how much it will cost to extract wisdom teeth. “Rs 1000/-“says the dentist. That is ridiculous! The man says. Isn’t there a cheaper way? Well says the dentist, if I don’t use an anesthetic, I can knock the price down to Rs 500/- looking annoyed the man says, that’s still too expensive okay says the dentist if I save on anesthesia and simply rip the teeth out with a pair of pliers, I can knock the price down to Rs 200. No moans the man it is still too much well says the dentist, scratching his head if I let one of assistant do it, I suppose I can knock the price down to Rs 100.Marvellous! Says the man. ‘Book my wife for an appointment next Monday.”

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When a new dentist set up in a small town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the latest kind of “Painless” dentist. But a local lad quickly disputed this. “He’s a fake ! ” he told his mates. “He’s not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him – and he yelled like anyone else.”

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Dentist at a clinic in Bangalore says to the patient: Could you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?
Patient: Why? Doc, it isn’t all that paining.
Dentist: There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don’t want to miss the 7 o’clock cricket match on TV.

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What was the Endodontist doing in Panama?…Looking for the Root Canal

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Mother: Has your tooth stopped hurting yet? Son: I don’t know.
The dentist kept it

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Open wider.” requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. “Good God !” he said startled. “You’ve got the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen.” “OK Doc !” replied the patient. “I’m scared enough without you saying something like that twice. “”I didn’t !” said the dentist. “That was the echo.”

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While I was waiting to see the dentist, a woman came out of dental clinic smiling. Nodding to me, she said, “Thank goodness my work is completed. I’m so glad to have found a painless dentist and one who’s so gentle and understanding too. “When seated in the dentist chair, I related the incident to the doctor. He laughed and explained, “Oh, that was my Mother.”

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Test
One night four Dental College students were boozing till late night and didn’t study for the test which was scheduled for the next day .In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt.
they then went up to the professor and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
Then professor was a just person so he said that you can have the retest after 3 days.
They said they will be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared before the professor.The professor said that this was a special condition test.
All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. The test consisted of 2 questions with total of 100 marks.
Question 1. write down your name—————————————————— 2 marks
Question 2. which tyre burst ?——————————————————- (98 marks)!!

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A rich businessman’s wife broke her lower jaw (Mandible). He went to the best dental surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken jaw and putting a screw to secure it. The operation went fine, and dental surgeon sent the businessman a fee for his services of Rs 10,000/-. The businessman was outraged at the cost and the sent the doctor a letter demanding an itemized list of the costs. The doctor sent back a list with two things:
One screw: Rs 1 only.
Knowing how to put it in: Rs 9999
Total: Rs 10,000
The businessman did not argue.

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If men got pregnant!!!
• Maternity leave would last two years, with full pay
• There would be a cure for stretch marks
• Natural childbirth would become obsolete
• Morning sickenss would rank as the nations number one halth problem
• All methods of birth control would be 100% effective
• All children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.
• Men would be eager to talk about commitment
• They wouldn’t thinktwins were so cute
• Briefcases would be used as diaper bags
• Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.
• They stay in bed during the entire pregnancy
AND
• Women would rule the world.

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An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old crone entered the doctors office. We have come for an examination said the young girl. Alright said the doctor, go behind the curtain and take your clothes off. No not me said the girl it is my old aunt here. very well said the doctor, madam please stick out your tongue.

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College going chap came to clinic & seeing the sexy chair side assistant “Aha ! Are you the lady orthodontist ?”.The lady replied “No, but I can straighten anyone’s teeth ”

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Father asks her younger daughter, when you grow up you want to become a cardiologist or a dentist “she says “Dentist” father asks why to her daughter, she says “We have only one heart, but 32 teeth!”

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Patient to Orthodontist: “How much to get my teeth straightened?”
“Thirty five thousand bucks” Patient heads for the door.
Orthodontist to patient: “Where are you going?”
“To a plastic surgeon to get my mouth bent.”

A particularly voluptuous lady entered the dentist’s surgery in an obvious state of agitation. The dentist tried to calm her down assuring her that he would do nothing to hurt her. She sat down in the chair and started fidgeting nervously as the dentist began sterilizing all the required equipment. When he asked her to open her mouth, she screamed. So he tried to calm her down again even though he was losing patience. Almost immediately the lady threw a hysterical fit, then realizing that the dentist had begun glaring at her, she said, “Oh doctor, I’m so nervous. I hate dentists. Why, I think I’d rather have a baby than have a tooth drilled. “Replied the dentist” Well Miss, better make up your mind fast so that I can adjust the chair accordingly.”

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DENTIST is the most suitable male profession – the only thing a man can tell woman when to open and when to shut her mouth, and get away with it.

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MY ELDERLY NEIGHBOR was promised a brief appointment with a dentist to have her new dentures fitted. After waiting over an hour in the dental chair, she complained to him about the long delay. “I guess you haven’t noticed I have only two hands,” he answered curtly. Unmoved by his excuse, she replied, “You knew that when you put me in the chair.”

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Doctor Certified

Certified that Mr/Miss———– working in your organization is suffering from time bound illness. Due to this he /she will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week. Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems. The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will far exceed the gains made by stretching work beyond 8 hours.
It is warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news such as “work over the weekend…” “let’s work on holidays…” “leave cannot be granted…” etc which can directly lead to heart attacks or strokes. In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust work deadlines in accordance with the health of my patient.

Sd/-
Dr. Impatient

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Bholaji goes to the doctor and says Doc, I ache all over. Every where I touch it hurts. The doc says “ok touch your elbow, bholaji touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain. The doc, surprised say touch your head” bholaji touches his head and jumps in agony. The doc asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens Every where bholaji touches it hurts like hell. The doc is stumped and orders a complete examination with x-rays etc and tells bhola to come back after two days. Two days later bhola comes back and doctor says, “we have found your problem”
“Oh yeah? What is it?” You have a broken finger.

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Corporate Lesson

A Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbor,” she replies. Great!” the husband says, “Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?”

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.